Why is it, Hollywood, that you insist that a movie must be laden with language or sex (or both) to sell?
Now, I'll admit freely and unapologetically that I have high standards in terms of what content I'll invite into my house and feed uncensored to my kids. That's my job. And any parent who says otherwise needs to face reality: God has placed you (and me) as steward over your (and my) kids for a "season" (an unknown period of time)... He has given you a manual on what His expectations and standards are (The Bible); and He has informed you (and me) that one day we will stand before Him and give an account for all the decisions we make - why we did not uphold His standards, meet His expectations, etc... Why we were the kind of stewards we were. On that day, I know full well that I will have a LOT to be accountable for... The least I can do is try to best steward I can be.
All that having been said...
Explain to me why you have to take a movie like, for example, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - which is perfectly family friendly otherwise, and insert a scene in the middle of it involving graphical and explicit rape. This scene is totally unnecessary - it does not add anything to the movie, does not further the plot, and does not help explain anything. It's the epitome of gratuitous. And, rather than increasing sales, I would argue that it actually has the opposite effect, because it prevents people like me from buying a movie that I otherwise would like to, because I cannot share it with my kids.
What I allow is based on what the kids can handle, and what I believe is appropriate for them. Generally speaking, I don't have too much of a problem with violence, within reason. I don't go for the gruesome or gory stuff. But I believe all of my kids are reasonable, rational, intelligent human beings that have the ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality. They fully understand what goes into making movies and how hard they work to create "realism" in a totally safe environment using special effects, CG, etc.
I have always shuddered at those who are against certain types of music, or games, or movies, etc., on the premise that kids will hear them, play them, or see them, and go out and mimic them.
I do accept that there is a certain percentage of the population for which this is true. These people are mentally challenged. I seriously feel that someone who cannot separate fantasy and reality needs help. But that aside - that's exactly the kind of thing I'm talking about with Parents being good Stewards. A parent should be able to soundly determine their child(ren)s ability to make that distinction and act accordingly - limit their exposure to dangerous fantasy if they might want to carry that fantasy into reality.
But I digress... My point is that I generally do not prohibit my kids from seeing a movie or playing a game based on violence.
Sex, sexuality, or even sensuality is at the other extreme. I prohibit all of my kids from seeing just about anything - movies, games, magazines, posters, etc., that are overtly sexual in nature. And for that matter, I try to prohibit myself in the same way.
And it's not that I'm a prude, by any stretch of the imagination. It's that I'm a fully self-aware male. I know how truly corrupt and depraved I (and all males) am (and are). I know how easy it is to arouse me sexually. And I know that Jesus has said that to even look on a woman with lust is to have committed adultery with her in my heart... This admittedly makes me one of the most adulterous people on the planet.
I believe that any man that chooses to be completely honest with himself would admit that it takes very little to cause him to be attracted to a woman, and then to seek to see more of her - or to imagine in his mind what it would be like to see more of her.
Yes, ladies, men are dogs. There's no sense in trying to deny it. It's true. I know - I have to live with that reality every day. So I try my best to limit my exposure to anything that will provoke that kind of response.
As such, I have come up with my own personal definition of pornography, as a yardstick to guide me in what to allow myself (or my kids) to be exposed to: "Anything which arouses me to lust." That could be to the extreme of the generally accepted definition of pornography such as the Playboys and Penthouses of the world to the other extreme of a woman that chooses to dress in an immodest manner. I'll maybe elaborate on women and their clothing choices in a future post, but for now, please just accept that to attract the kind of man you want to truly cleave to and become one flesh with, you do not need to show off anything that God has given you - because God has already programmed your chosen mate with a predisposed attraction to you. Just sit back and relax and wait for Gods timing.
Yikes, I digress again (staying on topic is very difficult for me).
Language falls somewhere in the middle. It's pretty much strictly forbidden for Cory (7) and Matthew (10). There are minor exceptions, and I'm not too uptight about it. I accept that they will be exposed to it in the world, and I can't control everything they see or hear - but I can restrict what I invite into my home. Brandon (13) is significantly less restricted, but only recently (as of his 13th birthday). I feel his maturity has demonstrated his ability to handle it, and not to incorporate it into his own vocabulary.
At the same time, I feel that exposure to any of these things (profanity, violence, sexuality), or indeed anything that God has said are not for His chosen people, does contribute to an overall desensitizing (or "hardening") of our heart... So I wrestle with that.
Now to bring the point to closure:
Hollywood has seen, with The Passion of The Christ, that there is a huge audience that will accept and pay for a well made movie that does not contain sexuality, nudity, language, or gratuitous violence.
So learn the lesson, and take it to the bank: Make movies that are "family friendly", and we will come out to see it. And buy it for our personal DVD collections. And recommend them to our friends. And buy them as gifts for other families, knowing that we won't risk offending them or violating their own standards.
There are a huge number of movies that I remember very fondly from my own childhood, or younger adulthood. Speed, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Terminator, Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Braveheart, Highlander, True Lies, City of Angels, and the list goes on. But with every one of these movies, though I would love to share the memories with my kids, there are aspects that prevent me from doing that.
And while I recognize that many of these movies are Rated R, and as such are not even intended for an audience as young as my kids, I think that's beside the point. Even PG-13 and PG movies need to be reviewed objectively by the parent to determine if it's appropriate for their kids. And yes, that is the responsible thing to do... But it seems that if I boiled my complaint down to the essence, it is two things:
1) Regardless of rating, Hollywood offers incredibly few really good, well made movies that are family friendly. It seems that they don't believe that there's an audience for a high-budget epic film that's rated PG.
2) Our rating system needs to be completely revised to offer more detail and at-a-glance ability for parents to decide what's appropriate for their kids without having to watch the movie first. For a sense of what this might look like, check out ScreenIt.
